We have friends who were new to camping and very interested so I had taken them under our wing and helped them along the way. I'm not sure what went wrong but we are now doing all the work and hauling all the stuff while they are just asking when is the next trip.
I'm not sure how but this is ending this season because it's become work and I'm not enjoying it anymore. Anyone else had a similar problem and how did you deal with it?
Ooo, do I know this well.
Let me first start by quoting Ann Landers - "No one can take advantage of you without your permission" Now that I said that, I can safely say that I am on the 12 step recovery program.
Without going into lots of details, in the beginning I wanted people to experience camping and since I had lots of left over tents and camping equipment, I didn't mind sharing it. As time went on, it changed from shared to setting it up, entertaining, etc.
Once I accepted that I allowed it to happen, one of the ways we wrestled it back into control we put out a clear email weeks before a trip. In the email, we could clearly state what peoples jobs were and what they were expected to bring, or what they were financially responsible for. (IE: We will cook the shared meals, guests are expected to handle dishes and cleanup) This gave the freeloaders their choice to start pitching in or contributing or just not coming. We found once you told people what was expected instead of assuming they would just do it, the air got cleared.
Without putting my long email here, it has titles for each paragraph.
Happy Campers - names and email address of who is camping
Camp Fees
Directions
What to bring
What we will loan if asked (one time loan)
Meal Menus and costs
Special events
Needed items for site to share
Cell Phone rules
General rules about behavior, hours, privacy, etc.
 |
The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything that they have! |
Don't invite the Freeloaders! Heck when we camp with my brother-in-law and his family, they come once a year and tent it, we have to make sure we're near the bathrooms because DW doesn't want our camper bathroom overused. Mainly because of the kids that don't have the experience working in a tight bathroom. When your guests are not camping with you and if something in your camper has gotten damaged or is missing you don't want that to take away from your experience. Like "CP" said lay the ground rules first.
You didn't say how long or how many trips have been done with them. I like to think of things postively. If it has only been one season, I could understand 2 or 3 trips just getting used to it. They may be at the point where they don't know how or what to do.
Even though my wife has camped with me a few times over 4 years, she wouldn't have a clue about what to do. She still sometimes questions me about why I put the trash bag in the TV overnight. Basically she watches DS while I set up camp, cook, and clean.
I would suggest talking with them and say something like....You have now experienced camping, now I'll teach you how to do some of the stuff that I do. Work with them once, and then Sit down with a beer and talk them through setting up the tent they will be sleeping in. Sit down with a beer and tell them how to cook the meal. Send them to the sinks to do the dishes while you have a beer. Don't forget to bring enough beer on this trip :cheers:
I would have to think that they want to help, but may not know how. Lets face it, not everyone is born with the ability to start a fire, cook with 2 pots on a gas stove (when will they come out with the flat top camping stove? ), set up a tent, etc. They could be intimidated and don't want to intefere with your routine and your stuff. After you do it often enough for them, they may assume it is better to let you do it.
Matt O 2006 Skyline Nomad 27' travel trailer. Previously owned 1986 Coleman Columbia / 1992 Coleman Senecca / 1989 Born Free Class C RV.
We gave our old pop-up to our oldest dd and her other half when we bought our htt, that was a mistake and a half. They go on trips with us and expect dw and I to do all the cooking cleaning and setup and take down. Last summer I had enough and dw agreed with me for once and we both blew our tops. She told dd to get off her a** and clean up after dinner, I do the cooking so we can eat it so clean up went to them. When we went on the next trip, my son-in-law was standing around watching me setup our htt and when I was done, I grabbed a cold one and sat down. He stood waiting for me to setup the pup for him and waited and ect....
By the time he figured I wasnt helping it was dark and he had to setup by flashlight. Needless to say when we get to a cg and get backed in, they are both more than happy to pitch in on the setup of both campsites and to do any after meal cleanup. Tough love just might work....lol
I'm of the mindset that they may not know what needs to be done and just don't ask.
What I have done in the past is when I get up to do something that needs done, I drag one of them along. Then the next time that needs done, I say something to the effect of "Hey Bob, we need more water, could you get it for me? You remember where it is, right?"
This isn't while camping, but would work just fine. I've also discovered the proper way to phrase things to various people. I have a friend that is kind of scared to look like a wuss. So I'll say something like "Hey Bob, could you grab that 20 pound sledge hammer for me? If you can handle it." That ensures that there's no chance that he's not going to bring the sledge. 😉
I really like Phil's e-mail idea.
We too have fallen victim to the "needy camper" one family that has tagged along with us always sounds good with intention in the planning phase but always falls short in the help phase. They also camp with children and the straw that broke the camels back was at 6:30 in the morning they sent 2 of their very awake and loud children over to our camper to get our kids to play with. Well our 4 children were all sleeping until they burst in the door and knocked on windows of where our kids were sleeping.
They would purchase food and plan meals but not cook or clean up. They would go on and on about how they love to relax camping while they sit and read by the fire and we sweat working on everything.
We tried in as many ways as polietly possible to get them to pitch in more and take more care of their own children but it never happened. So............we now plan trips and just go with no talk of when or where.
Ya pack the chairs first, then "they" can't sit around while the work is being done. :-X
I like the Family that pulls in and levels. The kids jump out=1 start gathering firewood & kindling, 1 starts unpacking the TV and 1 is cleaning the area, The Mom goes right in and starts preparing the Pup. Another Camper comes over and says Wow, your Family is on the ball, they must LOVE Camping, No, They can't use the bathroom until we're all set up! 8)
All I can say to fmbhappycamper - Well said!
Always give Lazy Guests a choice. Offer the LEAST pleasant sounding job/chore first then the one you would like them to do second.
Don't give more than the two options at a time.
Be prepared to do the lease pleasant job.
Just remember to tell them NEXT time it's THERE job/chore and visa versa!
I think people truly underestimate how much hard work goes into camping. If it were easy, we would all still be living under lean-to's, and cooking over open flame. In truth, if it weren't for DD, I probably would just have a fire pit in my backyard. I tend to not invite other adults to camp with us now, just a friend to keep DD company.
The biggest problem I had was cooking. I had one set of friends that would only cook for themselves, and another that didn't mind communal cooking, but wanted us to provide meals for everyone. Well it was great from their perspective, because they had three teenagers to feed, as opposed to my one toddler.
Also, while my toddler was sleeping in a camp chair, their teenagers were out after curfew, and the CG owners (whom we were friendly with, as we were regulars) had to come out to the site to chat with us, and since they were at the bathrooms I had to deal with it. That was a bit awkward.
if you do ask them to pitch in with meals and stuff. be very specific about what is expected !
we helped some friends out and they joined us a time or two, that was it !
we asked them to prepare or bring food for 1 of the meals for each day. we would do the other two.
two separate 3 day trips and it was not good each time.
they brought hot dogs ( no buns or condiments) a dozen eggs ( between 9 people, really?) and RAMEN noodles !
second time we planned the menu and asked them to bring specific items. what did they bring?
SEE ABOVE !
they were not under financial hardship at all, they were just cheap! they even brought 1.5 box of leftover pizza for lunch ( again, for 9 people?)
so from then on out, anytime we planned multiple family trips, we made it clear that we brought food for our own meals/families. has worked out well too.
as for the setup/takedown/cleanup.... same problem. and as for camping gear? just because WEEEE have it, does not mean YOU can have it too !
I will be the first one to hand someone a tent or sleeping bag, or whatever. but like was said... fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice........ sucks to be you !
I love hearing all the comments. We also have our freeloaders. My Brother-in-Law and Sister-in-Law show every Memorial Weekend to camp with us. They bring a tent, air mattress, sleeping bags, and chairs. The first time we camped with them I knew they were new so I brought some things they might need like extra flash lights, air pump for mattress. and the food. This is the only time they showed up on time and sat and watched me and DW set up everything. Ok they are new and dont know what is going on. When we broke down camp they packed their and off they went. This is after a weekend of sitting and watching me and DW do all the cooking and cleaning.
Well the following year when they arrived again with no flash lights or air pump I told them I did not pack any, thought they would have bought these items by now. Off to Wolly World for them :). They now always conveniently show up an hour or 2 after the agreed meet time. Just in time to miss all the setting up of the camp. They will bring food but make a habit of using ours so I use theirs. My brother-in-law has finally caught on after a few years and will help get wood, water, and doing cooking. Last year he even helped break down some. Sister-in-law sits and does nothing all weekend. She even complains that the air mattress is bad on her back and it would be better if she slept in the PUP. >:( YEAH THAT WILL HAPPEN.
That sucks Big Dawg! Maybe you can suggest Craig's list and that they get their own Pup? then suggest popup portal for them to ask questions and learn about the camper (so they don't bother you here) lol! Or suggest they rent something to camp in? Or, ha, give them a link to amazon to shop for cots!
[quote author=BigDawgGang]
Sister-in-law sits and does nothing all weekend. She even complains that the air mattress is bad on her back and it would be better if she slept in the PUP. >:( YEAH THAT WILL HAPPEN.
And the perfect answer for that would be, "I'll bet your anxious to get one. I know I was."
So far we've been lucky. I haven't/don't invite people to go camping with us. I'm sure now that we're near family that may change... I dunno. I'll cross that bridge when it happens, but I know expectations will be laid out long before the deal is done.
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