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... and that's how the Argument Started.
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121 Posts
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January 8, 2013 - 4:07 am
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Well you do know that marriage is like a deck of cards right?

You start off with a pair of hearts

Then you have a little diamond

Before long you are looking for a club and a spade  ;D  ;D  ;D

You know I went to the Police this morning. I told them that my wife has been missing for a couple weeks now.  They said, since she has been missing for so long, I probably should prepare for the worst. So I did---

I went to Goodwill and brought her stuff back home.  ;D  ;D  ;D

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Eastern North Carolina
50 Posts
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January 8, 2013 - 4:43 pm
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Lmao!!

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

2003 GMC Yukon SLE

2002 Fleetwood Terry Lite 25j

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382 Posts
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23
January 9, 2013 - 11:03 am
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Marriage is like a 3 ring circus!

First comes the engagement ring.
Next comes the wedding ring.
Third comes the sufferring

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January 9, 2013 - 11:21 am
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I'm dying here! LOL

My wife and I were talking about all the unmarried girls in Korea.

I said, "None of them are willing to kiss a frog to get a prince."

"I kissed a frog and got a toad!"

We were laughing so hard we couldn't see...

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63 Posts
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January 10, 2013 - 2:07 pm
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Thanks ya'll! 

I was expecting a rude CG story.  These were even better.

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271 Posts
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January 23, 2013 - 10:58 am
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One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

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41 Posts
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27
January 24, 2013 - 10:29 am
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think that a person could go on Celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

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30 Posts
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28
January 24, 2013 - 10:32 am
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My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.  I told her Not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And then the fight started.....

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271 Posts
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29
January 24, 2013 - 1:00 pm
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My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And then the fight started........

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485 Posts
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January 24, 2013 - 2:50 pm
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TKnecht - I think that tops them all. I love it!!  ;D

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271 Posts
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January 24, 2013 - 7:12 pm
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Thanks, Camp Dad. (Sometimes, you just can't win......)

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......

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420 Posts
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32
January 25, 2013 - 7:46 am
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This past year, I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas, she said, "I don't know". So I was walking along the street one day in Philly, and I saw a piece of metal on the ground and picked it up. I took it home, rapped it up, and put it under the tree. On Christmas morning, my wife opened up the package and said, "What's this?". My reply was, "I don't know, just what you asked for."

Best Regards,
Norm

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January 25, 2013 - 8:53 am
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[quote author=TKnecht link=topic=1316.msg1#msg1 date=1359072741]
Thanks, Camp Dad. (Sometimes, you just can't win......)

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......

Julie laughed for a minute straight after this one!

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271 Posts
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January 25, 2013 - 11:00 am
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I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started.....

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394 Posts
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January 25, 2013 - 11:09 am
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TKnecht, I know I am a long way from you, but I do have a dog house you can sleep in! Your on a good roll!  ;D

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271 Posts
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36
January 25, 2013 - 1:52 pm
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[quote author=Fire Captain Jim link=topic=1316.msg20144#msg20144 date=1359130177]
I do have a dog house you can sleep in!  ;D

Thanks, Cap'n! Fortunately, I have a wonderful, VERY understanding wife.

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the  van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...

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336 Posts
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37
January 25, 2013 - 7:34 pm
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;D. That fisherman one had me laughing.

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