Well you do know that marriage is like a deck of cards right?
You start off with a pair of hearts
Then you have a little diamond
Before long you are looking for a club and a spade ;D ;D ;D
You know I went to the Police this morning. I told them that my wife has been missing for a couple weeks now. They said, since she has been missing for so long, I probably should prepare for the worst. So I did---
I went to Goodwill and brought her stuff back home. ;D ;D ;D
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think that a person could go on Celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
This past year, I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas, she said, "I don't know". So I was walking along the street one day in Philly, and I saw a piece of metal on the ground and picked it up. I took it home, rapped it up, and put it under the tree. On Christmas morning, my wife opened up the package and said, "What's this?". My reply was, "I don't know, just what you asked for."
Best Regards,
Norm
[quote author=TKnecht link=topic=1316.msg1#msg1 date=1359072741]
Thanks, Camp Dad. (Sometimes, you just can't win......)
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
Julie laughed for a minute straight after this one!
[quote author=Fire Captain Jim link=topic=1316.msg20144#msg20144 date=1359130177]
I do have a dog house you can sleep in! ;D
Thanks, Cap'n! Fortunately, I have a wonderful, VERY understanding wife.
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and
slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and
proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly
undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
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