A small collection of "two" puns:
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron," The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two muffins are baking in an oven. The first muffin says, "wow, it's really getting hot in here." The second muffin says, "Wow... a talking muffin!"
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs Benedict."
is order comes a while later and it's served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the
hubcap?"
The waiter sings, "There' no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
>>>>>
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a
beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
>>>>>
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other.
One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
>>>>>
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocaine
during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
It's not generally known, but, after Thomas Edison became famous, he went on a promotional tour of the United States.
One of the places he visited was one of the American Indian areas. He was very popular and sympathetic. As he did at all the other areas at which he stopped, he asked the tribal leaders if there was anything he could do for them. One of the leaders spoke up: "Sir," he said, "it gets very, very dark here at night. Since we do not have indoor plumbing, we must go outside to use the facilities. It is so dark at night that many children and old people lose their way and become lost. Is there some way you could fix this?"
Edison replied, "Yes; of course there is."
He contacted his people, and soon electricity was run into the area, and lights were rigged from the housing areas to the outhouses.
Edison thus became the first person to wire a head for a reservation.
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